Early this morning, a writing prompt appeared on my email list to “write about freedom,” any type of freedom you’ve gained: drug, divorce, change job, etc., something where you took a hit, “rebounded, and came back.” This was an easy writing assignment for me, since I have been “unusually-binded the past few years.”
So, I began to write:
I do long for freedom, to be free from feeling restrained as, ‘a butterfly in a net or a fish caught on a hook,’ it’s been so long, since I last stepped outdoors to actual feeling like I am standing on “free land.” You’ve no idea of an experience where you’ve “no control,” of yourself, things you take for granted, such as: finances, employment, relationships, etc., I can’t possibly completely describe the pressure of having “no where to turn, for help,” I tried countless times, just laughed off. Huh? Where am I, again? Cuckooville?
In reflection, it began a few years ago, little things but significant enough to “catch my attention.” There was the close relationships with my children, which had, turned “cold and distant.” I acted as a lost child in the woods, and completely confused on the changes. My heart had taken a beaten with regular intervals of sudden pulsating from the internal stress of missing their sweet personalities; time was no longer important, as I had felt “I lost my children to someone else,” but what, who? They’re adults but they are mine. Fast forward, from going on since 2016, fortunately, I was overjoyed to talk with them recently; swooped away, with their voices, but they’re not the same. The “ease of talk,” was controlled, I assumed by “Big U Pants!”
The high number of coincidences, an overall daily-bad-luck-day, “every day,” seemed way outta’ mind, any child could see the cycle of abuse steadily forming. Consequently, after visiting three separate bank locations, due to the bank I had business with for many years suddenly, could not replace my ATM card because the machine was broke; however, the bank surely had access to mail it for an added fee of $25!
Enough already, I am not stupid, no one is so unlucky, plus then there is an overrun of yellow, orange, green and blue vehicle’s seemingly appeared at every stop, “literally.” Sounds crazy, right! Or paranoid? Whoever, is behind this, I suggest “quick-rehab, for your condition.” If I were any of these “mental things,” to start with, I would be institutionalized, by now.
All these vehicle headlights on during sunny days! Many occasions, I would remark how strange it was for ‘beams on’ when clearly it wasn’t necessary, “oh, the new cars, all have that option.” Same ol’ response from everyone, almost ‘as if’ pre-recorded.
How many times did I plan to visit someone, had they asked, “if I could stop by the store, or bring something?” Eww, gross. You do not treat people like this, it is “rude.” Am I being “tricked, laughed at or tested?”
Naturally, a lot of unusual occurrences meant clues, and so, I thought to myself “everyone knows about this, whatever it is” but me.
I figured that I could either allow myself to be driven “cuckoo,” or keep an eye on “my life,” whether what is happening is a well-planned attack, ‘real or fake,’ my heart is beating and I must endure the intense “comical-stress abuse.” I presume behind this charade is a man (at least, three persons have pointed this out), he is ecstatic, at all the chaos he has created, for me. I am not now, nor have I ever been laughing at any of this ridiculousness! I fully expect when the times comes, “to sue!” Stand up, and take your punishment!
Like one park passerby, loudly stated in my direction, “it’s just, the way it is.” This is unnatural I know that, or at least, I tell myself that somewhere down the course of life, I met a person that has introduced me to Hollywood, I repeat these words often, “I did not sign up for this,” attorneys go to school for years and spend a lot of dollars to assist with contracts, “I truly have not signed one!”
“GUILTY!” I am guilty of messaging someone, not exactly who, since my internet platform appears to be compromised. It doesn’t take a Genius, to recognize fake websites! When words are continually misspelled, and the sites begin with http://, or as I noticed frequently, my own writing disappears and some documents completely removed! Ugh. You really suck, big dix. So what, I sent messages, “who takes those personally?” Sensitive much? Anyway, just because I haven’t published anything, doesn’t mean I’M not a writer, I write, therefore; I’M a writer! I’ve read some books that’ll knock your socks off, and creep up behind you, “uh, the imagination of a writer, is astounding.”
There are days filled with mind- activity, where I repeatedly go over events, like Sherlock Holmes solving a case, nothing is untouched; information is diced, replayed, fast forward, replay again. I find ways to relieve stress and initiate creative endeavors ~ write, visit state parks, research. Anything, to remind myself that I am a U.S. citizen, born and raised. We are the recipients of immigrants from countries of war, famine, overrun with severe drug abuse! I know that reporting a crime that the police do not throw out your report, there are “checks and balances,” in our system for good reasoning. The Declaration writers were far advanced for their time, it is so difficult to believe that this group of men compiled such an exquisite piece, hundreds of years ago!
So, when I think of this “famously written document,” written from men who thought of “every single person,” and sought to guarantee “everyone,” peace, being able to speak openly without restraints, the ability to possess firearms, racial equality, gender equality, I live free in mind only, and remind myself that “this is wrong,” this group is criminally breaking every rule and law given to U.S. citizens. I know so!
The thrown-out bottle of a favorite import, intentionally (with everything else going on, I readily assume), was indeed, left in front of my car, as a reminder, that “I am being watched,” the call that came-in exactly 2 minutes after 4am, on New Years’, when I had just arrived back to my apartment, the paychecks that were over a week late due to an “unknown error,” continuous eavesdropping of calls, “those emails sent were not from my daughter,” each doctor visit proved to be an aggravation, “receptionist taking a call every time I step up to check-in, nurse asking unusual questions, no assistance (unless, I asked), email hacked, the aggravation repeated hundreds of times, and my only thought was, “the Constitution writers’ would frown,” at how society has “lost grip, morals, stand for nothing.”
Freedom means being able to live as you wish, within reason, abiding by laws!
Freedom is waking, working, dating, marrying, enjoying whatever you wish!
Freedom For All: regardless of skin color, personality, economic level, education, employment, address, kin folk, car, etc., you are important, to someone, before they even knew you, “Constitution Writers,” and God protect(ed) you and your right to Freedom!