The Rebel In Me, Hidden Carefully


I doubt that I’d consider myself a “rebel.” However, I do try to treat people with dignity. I do lie, to benefit myself. I will not lie to you. That’s no guarantee, either. I do not steal, intentionally. There are gray areas! I treat everyone the same unless, you have given me reason not to trust you.

I’m no rebel! I will not fight for everything, I believe in. The opposition is too much, there’s no positive result, I won’t waste my time. For example: drug abuse in America claims lives! I hate That! A beautiful young person with a sunken face, toothless grin, thin as as a rail, begging, stealing for a “fix.” Yes, I would participate in countering this widespread problem, but it’s so Giant, I don’t see any change.

I have witnessed loud people, in action. They speak up in opposition, only to be mocked behind their backs, “She thinks she knows everything.” Awhile back, a coworker pushed me from time to time; eventually, the flipped switch went to “on.” I told her off, I recognized her vulnerabilities way before, ignored her for too long. She could dish out vile, but couldn’t take it. In 5 minutes, she had heart palpitations resulting in a near heart attack, and told to take off work for 2 days to rest. Why do people attack when they can’t handle the rebuttal? To top it off, other coworkers had known of her verbally abusive language, and were angry at me for pushing her! She had been jealous or something, at one point she told me directly, if her husband ever visited her and talked to me, she’d kill me. What? I knew she was crazy enough, but this was out of line! I reported her and was instructed very politely Not To Talk To Her Husband. No defense for me!
I recall another event similar to that. A coworker felt the need to have an assistant. She routinely asked for help. If I had time I would assist her. But do not push me. Well, she did. Once again, I flipped on her, told her off, too. She began crying! Imagine that.
Then in 2015, I was harassed or intimidated on my job for 6 months! I let it go, in fear, of losing my position. I quit after seeing the guy was comfortable screwing with women and getting help to pull it off! I did quit, reported the event to Human Resources. I was a victim being victimized by reporting the behavior. The HR dept representative actually told me, “you’ve been late, you don’t exactly have a perfect record.” Also, he said, “Well, you know these intelligent science types, they don’t know social etiquette.”

I am not certain of who rebels are, though. The people I’ve met who rebel are generally criminally oriented. Meaning they generally have a criminal history of assault. They will beat you down and brag about it, saying, “I’ve got a temper.” Everyone has a temper and boundaries. Mature people handle themselves with class in a dignified manner.

When my children were young, if there was a problem with a neighboring child, I would not sit back and talk about it! I went to their front door for action. I went to a few. No one ever knocked back! Yes, I found loudmouths that thought themselves as strong, they spew nonsense! I speak business. My goal was to end a problem peacefully. I can be manipulative, yet tactful; smart, cunning. I meet problems head-on, but I’m no Rebel.

On another note! When another tells you, what they would do? It is easy, to speak brave but actually going through the motions, is far another. I do not need your rendition of what I should do, If you have empathy to share to me, that’d be great. The boastful types who can barely run their homes, fine, but you have no skills for me. I know who you are, it is easy to see. All talk, No Action.

Point is: I’m no Rebel for valid reasons. I am not willing to be incarcerated for fighting. I have followed social rules. I have reported when necessary. Only to find myself victimized in different ways. I’m stronger, and I can live independently. You know, I may have the rebel in me, it’s those behind the desk who I pity.

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