The Love List

Being single is not a bad thing, if you choose it. I did. I could not find the right “one.” I tried and looked. The list has to fit the man, not vice versa. It is not so much “the list that narrows down the mate,” but it is my personal preferences. I prefer, certain requirements: taller, older, good manners, educated and/or speaks well, pleasant personality, no history of drug use, no drinking problem, please no smokers, good health (visits Medical Dr regularly), has teeth cleaned a minimum of 1x a year, shops for stylish clothes, hair neatly styled, no mustache, no goatee, no abnormal sideburns, active (jog, walk, swim, golf, something), has nice friends, must respect everyone, helps with both the interior and exterior home responsibilities, remembers and acknowledges holidays, Christmas, Valentine’s, Birthdays, — my children’s birthdays, confident but not arrogant, fun, interested in art, able to prepare a meal, ambitious, can use technology, car engine knowledge, family relationships are intact, enjoys children, “open door” to my children. I will not tolerate a dysfunctional home life. It is draining, unnecessary and no one needs memories from an “unstable family life.” If you have children, I would treat them as my own and I expect the same.

I know, I have heard it before, “enjoy being single.” No problem, matter of fact, “single life looks better and better, every single day.” The list here, is not anything unusual, it is stuff that I really need not want. “I am easier to get a long with, if the match is right.” If your children rarely visit or talk to you, “forget it.” If you owe past child support, “forget it.” The children need that money, single parents need the help. If you and your ex or exes, are still, “just friends.” Forget it. If you text at meals, “nope,” says “immaturity,” (red flags). If you ever accuse me of spying on you, “forget it,” you are very fortunate to have me, but now I don’t trust you. I do not need a babysitter, I am a grown woman. Also, I am not a damn mind-reader, you must speak to me, when you need to clear up anything.

I have loved. I have had mates with some very good qualities, but the bad ones override the good, leaving me with the option to move on. Of course, they may “contine to like or love me.” I am all of the things, I listed: I can cook a healthy meal or a meatloaf, I exercise doing something everyday, I have never relied on drugs, I am a light social drinker, I like shopping and keep up with fashionable trends, I can use technology, I can set up technology without assistance, I have car knowledge, I can change a tire by myself in 30 minutes or less, I know every member of my family’s birthday and ages, I do genealogy research for the entire family, as a teenager I bought a Polaroid camera with the babysitting money I had saved and snapped photos of Christmas, Birthdays (family members want copies), my father died when I was young and I have watched over my mother, I raised my two daughters as a single parent (they are wise, intelligent women, now), I am the only college graduate in my family (I studied, raised my daughter, worked a full-time job, GPA 3.3), I am comfortable around professionals, non-professionals, I can mow a yard, I am knowledgeable in plants and gardening, I take out the trash, vacuum, do laundry, I appreciate art, I have medical knowledge and familiar with prescriptions, etc. Basic stuff. All of this may become a necessity if a new mate became ill, I can multi-task independently. I know a professional that thought “they,” had it covered, until thrown into a “survivor position,” they did poorly. No idea, of what to do next, when or how to do it.

I was driving Out-of-State last Summer, I had not one flat but two. I have roadside assistance, but I knew I could change a tire, I walked about 4 blocks to a convenience store to buy fix-a-flat, not to fix the tire, but to raise the car up, so I could change one tire. I opened the trunk, I had left my car keys on the console, doors locked on me, I have only my socks on, I was tired, it was about 45-50 degrees, 8pm, in a State that I did not know well. I accidentally slammed the trunk, too. I had left the front 2 Windows cracked about 1-2.” I cannot call anyone, phone is in the car. A hedge with strong branches is right in front of the car. I snapped one, brushed the leaves away. I used this branch to push the door lock through the opening, so I could get inside the car. It worked. This is not a unique story, I have been thrown into these “odd situations.” I always manage.

I realize many people can do these things, too. “I can.” I was not born with a silver spoon, my father and brother, a nephew, taught me a lot. I had no idea that I was learning necessary life skills. I babysat as a teenager — learned about babies, small children. As an office temporary, I worked with a diverse group of people, of which, I learned a lot of skills, not just work related, but human interactions.

Which brings me back to my list. I can take care of myself. “If you fall in love with me, you better fit my list.” I am not the type to chase money, married men — once, you break my trust, mistreat me or my family, disrespect me, “you have shown your way out.” Bye.

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